For a long time I had trouble saying no. I’d get a request, and have a hunch I should say no. But because I generally hate to disappoint people, I’d say yes. And then one of two things would happen. I’d do the thing and resent it. Or I’d realized that I shouldn’t have said yes and have to back-pedal my way out of it. Not anymore. Now I say no. Often.

I’ve been thinking of this lately as I’m in one of those crunch periods where I can’t take on anything else personally or at work. I’m getting married in two weeks and will be taking some time off after that. So I’ve been trotting out my “noes” with increasing frequency. In fact, I did it twice last week. …

Being able to say no has lots of benefits. It helps with time management, reduces stress, and most important, ensures that you can do the things you’ve said yes to….

Here are some rules for figuring out when to say no: {Read the rest at Yahoo!}

Every time I enter a negotiation it feels like the first time. I can rehearse, prepare and strategize, but if I really want something or have any emotional stake in the deal, all the wisdom I think I’ve collected over the years starts jumbling together (For example, “Never start the money conversation,” mushes together with “Name your price first to make sure you’re negotiating from your number, not theirs.”)  And if negotiating requires a long waiting game, my impatience gets the best of me as all I want to do is get the deal sealed.

I decided to talk to a pro to see if I could improve my ways, so I rang up Jim Camp whose latest book, “No: The only Negotiating System You Need for Work and Home,” just landed on my desk. Camp is a seasoned negotiator and coach who has trained the FBI on how to negotiate in hostage situations, so I figured low-stakes negotiations like mine would be much easier to manage. {Read the rest at Yahoo!}

One of the lasting effects of the recession of 2009 may be that many upper middle class parents who expected to send their children to private universities now can’t afford it. And since those families are probably too well-off for financial aid, there will be a huge boom in attendance at state colleges and universities, and even community colleges, which are upgrading their offerings at a furious pace.

But that might not be the only route for future students. According to “Who Needs Harvard,” an article in the current issue of Fast Company magazine, we might be just a couple of decades away from a time when a good chunk of higher education will be taking place online. It’s not just virtual courses; now that online social networking allows for conversation and connection these new outfits can also offer an entire online community to share the learning experience with.  And both venture capital firms and the Obama Administration are plunking down lots of money to support experimentation in this sector. {Read the rest at Yahoo!}

I have a 21-year old personal trainer, Scott, whom I’ve been working with for about two years. He is a good trainer and knows his stuff. But that’s not why I see him two to three times a week. I use him because he is a natural marketer who happens to be marketing himself.

At a birthday dinner last week with Scott and a group of his clients, talk turned to how many of us, well into our 30s and 40s and established in our careers, could learn a lot about career management by watching our young trainer. And it has nothing to do with his use of technology or some of the other ways we think young people are succeeding today.  It’s pure old-fashioned business smarts.

Scott is a first-generation American who was raised by a single mother and grandmother. He tested into the best schools and has held part-time jobs since he was around 14. By age 16, he was contributing to the family finances. When I started working with him, he was in his junior year of college, and this fall he’ll be starting graduate school. All along, he has worked up to 30 hours a week at the gym, building a serious career out of an arrangement that could easily look and feel like a part-time gig.

Here’s some of what he does right: {Read the rest at Yahoo!}

Shortly after writing the post, “Are your work habits making you look old?,” with Pamela Redmond Satran, author of the book, “How Not to Act Old,” I got an email from Barbara Raab, a friend who works in television.

“What’s wrong with acting “old” (a.k.a. one’s actual age) at work?” she wrote. “I don’t think you meant it to be ageist, but I really think this post IS ageist. You haven’t told me WHY I should not look over 40 at work; you seem to take it as a given that seeming one’s age, if that age is over 40, is something no one would actually want.”

She continued: “How about wearing tight jeans and a thong that shows? Or coming to work hung over? These are also things that young people do? Why did you buy into the whole notion of acting younger at work?”

Barbara makes some excellent points. Being perceived as “old” in the workplace shouldn’t be considered a bad thing. In fact, experienced (older, mature, choose your word) workers have tremendous value in the workplace and I didn’t mean to suggest otherwise in that post. She’s also correct  that younger people make huge missteps at work that can often be traced to their youth or inexperience.

I wrote that post with full knowledge that ageism exists and that it is insidious. And those are the same reasons that Pamela Redmond Satran says motivated her to write her book, “How Not to Act Old.” {Read the rest at Yahoo!}

A new book, “How Not to Act Old,” by Pamela Redmond Satran is climbing the ranks of the Amazon humor section. I’ve read it and like most humor, there’s a lot of truth behind its snarky advice and tips for middled aged folks who are starting to feel like they “just don’t get those young people.” Satran dissects and contrasts the habits of the old (basically, anyone over 40) with those of their children (or those young enough to be their children) decoding everything from the way different groups use technology (old people leave voicemails; young people assume people will see a missed call and return it), to the way they use language (old people smoke pot; young people call it weed); and even attitudes towards bikini waxing (fodder for a whole mini chapter).

As someone who has been working long enough to remember wearing pantyhose to my first two jobs as a lawyer (yes, I’m that old) and who now wonders whether I can get away with wearing leggings to a professional event, I appreciated Satran’s take on how not to act old at work.

I asked her for some customized tips for readers who want to appear a little younger in their use of technology in their careers. Here’s what she had to say: {Read the rest at Yahoo!}

For a growing swath of the workforce the resume has been replaced, or at least supplemented, by the bio. If you’ve ever had to be introduced by someone at a conference, you know it’s wise to give the person introducing you a written bio rather than sit back and hear how she decides to describe you. Written bios are posted on websites; abbreviated bios show up on sites like LinkedIn; even shorter ones appear next to our profiles on Twitter; and snappy taglines trail the bottoms of our emails.

With the bio in full bloom right now, it pays to take some time to write yours in a way that that reflects how you want to be perceived. Perhaps you want to show a sense of humor or wit. Maybe you want to show your technical prowess by delivering your bio in a video format. And while you’re at it, why not let your bio accomplish some personal branding for you. As you write yours, consider a few things.

If you’re a writer, show off your writing

While writers should have an advantage in crafting well-written bios, it’s remarkable how few unleash their facility with language when profiling themselves. Which is why I love the bio and “about Laura” sections of novelist Laura Zigman’s website. They are composed entirely in the third person and the opening few lines of the bio give you an idea of her tone: “Laura Zigman grew up in Newton, Massachusetts (where she felt she never quite fit in), and graduated from the University of Massachusetts at Amherst (where she didn’t fit in either) and the Radcliffe Publishing Procedures Course (where she finally started to feel like she fit in).” {Read the rest at Yahoo!}

A few years ago, video resumes got a bad name when aspiring investment banker Aleksey Vayner made the now infamous video showing off his many talents (including images of himself bench-pressing 495 pounds, karate-chopping a pile of bricks, and serving a tennis ball at 140mph). Vayner’s video went viral, but not in the way he wanted. Rather than causing a stir around his creative efforts to find a job, Vayner’s name became shorthand for “video resume disaster.”

But when video resumes are good, they can be very good. As is the case with “Hire Me,” a new video created by recent Bentley University graduate Alec Biedrzycki, which was released on Tuesday.

{Read the rest at Yahoo!}

For a long time, I had difficulty asking for help. I felt more comfortable on the giving side of things and feared that if I regularly asked others for help I’d take advantage of their kindness. Then I realized that most successful people know how and when to ask for help. And that most people are inclined to offer help when asked (research backs this up.)

So I started asking, and good things happened as a result of it. I got smart advice. I got support from others. And I probably made a lot of people feel good that I respected them enough to seek their counsel.

Every day I get at least one email or call asking for help with something — a request for an introduction, a recommendation, advice on how to find a job. Some of these requests are easy to answer, and in those cases, I respond quickly, either by doing the thing requested of me or explaining why I can’t. Others leave me frustrated with the questioner. And when I’m frustrated it’s usually for a variation of the same few reasons. The person didn’t ask a proper question; the person didn’t appear to have done any work to solve the problem on her own; or she was coming to me for something that I wasn’t really in a position to help with.

Based on these experiences, I’ve developed some guidelines for how I ask for help: {Read the rest at Yahoo!}

When I wrote about searching for salary information online, I missed a new player in that market, Jobnob, which says it has collected and posted salary information on close to three million jobs.

But that’s not what caught my eye about Jobnob. For a site all about making salary information more transparent, the founders are doing something surprising — encouraging people to work for free. Just as I’ve been plugging adult internships as a way to build skills, connections and experience, Jobnob has organized happy hours in San Francisco to bring together jobseekers with cash-strapped startups looking for part-time help. The pitch on Jobnob’s website targets both the jobseekers and startups.

To the jobseeker it asks: “Are you willing to work at least 5 hours a week for free or minimal pay?

To the startup, it asks: “Are you willing to buy a smart, talented, unemployed person a drink.” {Read the rest at Yahoo!}